PinkerInk

Best I Ever Had

This video is by Drake and the song is called Best I Ever Had. The lyrics are rather innocent but the video is what catches everyone off guard. If we look at a small portion of the song:

“Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted
We can do it real big, bigger than you ever done it
You be up on everything, other hoes ain't never on it
I want this forever, I swear I can spend whatever on it”

One would not expect the video to be about a team of women with rather large breasts playing basketball. The problem is the entire message of this song is ruined by this video due to the fact that the song seems like a love song. In the video on the other hand, Drake makes it seem like it is about something totally different. Every female friend I displayed this video too, hated the concept that was depicted inside of it. It was also funny that the highlight of every scene was a close up of the girls either running, stretching, or jumping. The close ups were of course on the women’s breasts because obviously that’s why they were selected to be in the video. If you also pay attention to the outfits of Drake’s team and the team they were opposing you will see some big differences. Drake’s team had uniforms that displayed the cleavage of the women and they wore boyshorts instead of the preferred basketball shorts. The other team wore the regular jersey attire but were not as physically attractive as Drake’s team. That team (team green) won the game but the focus was not on them but on Drake’s team again for obvious reasons. There was not at all one real reference to the song except at the end, which was a parody. He was telling his whole team that they were the best that he has ever had. We can break this down into two ideas; the first is that this is the best basketball team he has ever had (even though the girls lost by a huge margin at the end of the video) or the second in which every girl is the best to him for his own purposes. Looking deeper into the video, there were a few sexual innuendos such as “take that D like the champions that you are” for example. The final interesting fact was that Drake taught the girls to play basketball by telling them how stretch. How does one expect to win a basketball game only knowing how to stretch?? Well he only told them how to stretch for his own personal pleasure and nothing else. To fix this is simple; NEVER LET KANYE WEST DIRECT YOUR MUSIC VIDEO. Otherwise you will get another bombed video like Best I Ever Had.

I have been a fan of a reality show called The Girls Next Door, which is basically about Hugh Hefner and his girlfriends. I will not discuss the whole degrading women sexually conversation but I wanted to speak on the lifestyle of these women and how the show only shows a certain part of their reality but leaves out the most important ones. Personally I think the show is funny because the girls tend to dumb themselves down for the cameras and I also find the show interesting because I see what it is like to live in a mansion with a wealthy and famous man like Hefner. In the show Hefner dines and wines his girlfriends. He takes them on luxurious trips and he buys them whatever they desire. Their life style is full of parties and probably sex. The life of a bunny seems glamorous and fun. However, I have noticed that there are no women of color as bunnies. If a woman of color appears in the show it is usually the servant or cook of the mansion. I don’t really want to say this bothers me because I don’t want to see women of color in a playboy magazine at all. I find that it degrades women in all aspects. But I do think the show excludes the reality of these women’s lives after they are not Hefner’s girlfriends anymore. I am guessing these women get use to this lavish lifestyle and would eventually have a problem going back to their old lifestyle that probably included poverty. I know that one of the bunnies has her master’s degree but there is still a negative perception in the light that the show or the girlfriends are showing their lifestyle. At the end of the day, these women are being taken care of by a wealthy man and feel comfortable with that. If one of the bunnies has a degree, it is probably to use it in her post life after the Playboy lifestyle. So basically these women are giving up their bodies and faking their lives to be taken care of financially and eventually be in the cover of the playboy magazine. I didn’t think about these things while I was watching the show but taking this class has made me notice things that otherwise would have seem normal to me. I also realized that this reality show shows how many women of today still want to be taken care of and be dependent on a man’s wallet. I hear it all the time from my aunts (joking, supposedly) “girls you better get a man that can take care of you financially.” I know that at the end of the day you would want a man’s help but if you become too comfortable and just rely on a man, I think you will eventually loose yourself completely and when you reach a certain age you will regret that you didn’t get the most out of life. This eventually will become a cycle between mothers and daughters.

I was in the library attempting to study when I decided to ask one of my friends for his ipod. I tend to study well with music and as I put his ipod on the last song he was listening to was Tip Drill by Nelly. I decided to check out the lyrics and the music video. First off the music video is not even available on youtube, which I found it quite amusing. But I did stumble across this video that someone made for her class (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3W4eWoNWp8). It showed a number of offensive songs towards women. When I saw the small clip of Tip Drill by Nelly, I now understand why I can’t even find the video or at least the whole entire version. Actually I don’t even think I want to even see the whole entire video.

So what exactly is a “tip drill” and I guess this is when I’ll say I am extremely naïve to the current music these days. Because I thought it would be another two step dance that was invented by someone in the South. By looking at the lyrics I was just grossed out. So I could only imagine the video for it after all that vulgar words and images. But WOW! Having girls butts right there, in a screen I think you probably see more of their butts than you see a female’s face. Hence the lyrics:

“I said it must be ya ass cause it aint yo face i need a tip drill i need a tip drill
I said it must be ya ass cause it aint yo face i nedde a tip drill i need a tip drill
Said if you see a tip drill point her out where she at point her out where she at point her out there she go
Said if you see a tip drill point her out where she at point her out where she at point her out there she go”

Beside the fact that all these women are not a good way of portraying what most females look like. It definitely doesn’t portray what women are capable of doing. I think to some extend this show an extreme case that Betty Friedan pointed out.---- > “In the magazine image women do not work except housework and work to keep their bodies beautiful and to get and keep a man”. But of course not in the way Nelly would like his females. It’s just a bit weird to see this coming from my friend’s ipod and made me wonder how he depicts women. That women of color should have a tiny waist, shaking their huge nice bubbly ass, and being half naked is beautiful? Or maybe I just live in another world because these people are people I don’t quite encounter too much.

I believe this has been an on-going problem where most hip hop videos have women half naked and shaking their booty or being slapped by the rapper. To solve this problem, maybe we should educate these females that line up to be in these videos that maybe they are better off doing something else. Some people really don’t have the education to feel like they can do so much better and we result to something like this. Guess it’s time to work on a better educational system and try to bring up the area so we could avoid situations like these.

So here I am in my boyfriends living room watching TV with my boyfriends mom. We are watching one of her favorite shows!! Caso Cerrado!! For those of you who don’t know, Caso Cerrado is a show that comes on Univision everyday, very similar to Judge Judy, Judge Mathis etc. It is in Spanish, and most of the people whom air on it are Latinos.

The scoop of the case is as follows:
A husband has brought his wife to court because she, in his words, ‘no me complace en la cama.” Which means, she doesn’t satisfy me in bed. This woman who is a mother of three, and about 45 years old responds by saying that her husband wants to have sex 3 or 4 times a night, way too much for her to handle. They go back and forth a few times. The man says, “no vale para nada mas,” which is translated to she isn’t good for anything else.

I know you guys can guess what pissed me off. As soon as I saw this it enraged me. I still can’t believe how ignorant some people can be. We need to realize that women are not objects. They are human beings!! I know that many Latino men believe that women are simply there to please them. I also understand that there is a possibility that the husband is not educated. But this is NOT an excuse. There is no reason for him to treat his wife, and mother of his children in this way. I also think that there are many things that television promotes for entertainment, this being one of them. It is our obligation as educated beings to realize the harm television can do.

This past Sunday, I had a basketball game at Chelsea Piers. I got there a little early to stretch and warm up. While waiting, there were two women basketball games going on. The talent level was pretty high, the girls must have played in the collegiate level or at least high school. So while stretching, I overheard a conversation among a few men that were also watching the women’s basketball game. One of the guys said, “These girls are good man, they play just like a men, they have to be lesbians!” The response from another guy was, “I do not know about the white girls, but the black girls…. Yeah definitely!” I was just shaking my head and saying to myself that they are so naïve and absent minded. Yet, I’m not surprised by their comments because I hear the lesbian stereotype question often enough while I was playing in the basketball circuit growing up. Any girl that was good in basketball, plays like a “butch” and not “girly”, the stereotype would be that they are lesbian. I’m sure many female athletes can relate to this. However, the part of the conversation that stood out was when one guy said, “I do not know about the white girls, but the black girls…. Yeah definitely!” I’m just surprised that the men gave the white girls a pass on not being lesbians but not the black girls. Black women and all women in general would not act well to that comment above. Since this is a stereotype that is heard often, I am not sure if there will ever be a solution at all. The sad thing is that I believe many cultures have this same problem.

SMURF COMMENT

This morning I was rushing to get to the 125th Street train station, on the A B C D line, so that I will not be late to school. When I went through the turnstiles, there were people coming up the stairs. I ran to catch it and got into the first cart, which was packed. I ended up in the A train stuck with my back against the doors in between two guys dressed up in Wall Street attire, one White and one Hispanic, sort of facing me and leaning on the same door.

As I was standing there and the doors closed, they seemed to pick up a conversation they were having. Now, I don’t know about how others might deal with a situation like this, but it was about 8:45 in the morning and the train was packed. It was a cold morning, so I’m wearing layers, and this means it is also pretty warm in there with the body heat and not enough space to take some layers off. The main issue is that on top of everything I just said these men are holding a conversation with me right in the middle with no regards to me being there.

I understand if you started off having a conversation then people came in and it just so happened your no longer next to your friend, but you want to continue that conversation. It is too bad, no matter whom it is, you cannot continue to hold the conversation. The situation has changed and it is extremely rude to the person in between to continue holding the conversation.

Anyway, I had to take the A train from 125th Street to 59th Street, which was the next stop and the one I get off. But with these guys talking the whole time about who knows what and me trying to keep my balance to not fall on anyone, it seemed like eternity.

The way I see it is that if I was a man instead of a women, they would not have continued to have that conversation at all. What bothered me is that it was the Hispanic man that was holding most of it. The White man was pretty short on his answers displaying clearly that he did not want to continue the conversation and that he was uncomfortable to speak across me.

But what pissed me off the most was the fact that after the Hispanic man finally shut up, he had to ask his male friend “have you ever seen the smurfs cartoon?” Right away I felt a certain type of way because I had one of those hats that women wear, more so now-a-days, that lean off the head, almost like what the smurfs hat was like. I continued to listen and the white man responded, “Yea. Why?” Then the Hispanic man has the audacity to say, “Well because don’t you ever wonder what was under them” and laughs, like his joke was so good! I did not understand the joke and I don’t think his friend did either due to his response. But I was pissed because he tried to make fun of me and he doesn’t even know me from a hole in the wall. What I also don’t understand is what does that do for a man to make fun of a woman? Does that make you feel more like a man? Maybe it isn’t something to be worked up on, but I think it is because the nerve of this stranger no matter who, Hispanic, White, Black, to make fun of me. As I said previously, had I been a man, he would not have dared to make a comment like that, and had my reflexes been better, he would’ve got my two senses on how I felt about his smurf comment.

I woke up to see for the first time, Mariah Carey’s new video “Up out My Face” feat. Niki Minaj. My television was on mute and I had never heard about this song before so I automatically thought to myself, “oh no she did not go and make a song for Valentines Day”. After watching this video again I was completely turned off my Mariah Carey. I feel like she has completely downgraded herself as an artist. She is a grown woman (39 yrs old) and has been in the industry for years. She could be compared with Mary J or Whitney in talent and work. In this video she is wearing red pin-up and nurse outfits with pig tails in here hair! As a grown woman is that the image of herself that she wants to leave in girls minds? Her song is featuring Niki Minaj which everyone knows is a “Barbie” so we already know what to expect of her, but I feel like Mariah Carey as a talented and influential as she is should not be in her video acting a fool. I think that rather that being herself she is conforming to whatever the image of woman is at the moment, whatever is the new craze and she is trying to force herself into this image. She has her husband who is ten years younger than her directing her video and he is making her look like a fool. I feel like the reason why every girl nowadays wants to be a “Barbie” is because this is all they are seeing. This is teaching young girls that they should talk, look, and be like this because this is cute and it will get them attention. This leaves an impossible image for young girls to live up too. I’m just disappointed that even Mariah Carey has joined in with this image instead of making a difference as a grown woman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i7GEMQC2IY

I was watching an episode from the show, "Two and a Half Men," a comedy with Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen, who plays "Charlie" is a male who sleeps with many women and has a fear of commitment; he doesn't care about the women he has relations with. I found this particular episode's message interesting in terms of gender stereotypes.
In this episode, Charlie sleeps with a woman who does not play the "typical" woman, as often portrayed in society. After he has sex with her in her apartment, she asks him to leave because she has an early meeting the next day. At first he finds it refreshing that he is not expected to stay the night. As Charlie gets ready to leave, he tells the woman that he will call her, something that he is used to saying to women after sleeping with them. However, the woman insists that she can call him. When she does call him again and takes him to dinner, she pays the check. Charlie finds this a little unusual, as he usually pays for dinner. While they get ready to leave the restaurant, Charlie keeps asking the woman if she's upset about anything; she keeps telling him no but he continues to ask. He then says to the maitre d, "I sound like a big girl don't I," on their way out. The maitre' d agrees that he does. Eventually, Charlie feels upset about how the woman treats him and starts to feel somewhat needy, which is ironic considering that he treats the other women he gets involved with in the same way.
This episode suggests that women are clingy, dependent, and emotional. When the "roles'' were flipped, and the man was like the society's view of a woman, it not only suggested that there was something wrong with men being needy and emotional, it also suggested that women were needy and emotional. The roles depicted in this episode showed how women and men are generally viewed in society. I don't think that women should be perceived as emotional and clingy. Although women do have emotions, so do men. Women can be very strong and independent and those are the things that should be broadcasted more often.

My younger brother and his girl friend came to visit this weekend and end up staying longer, there is no bus heading back to Maryland Baltimore, because of the snow storm. I over here’d my brother’s girl friend having a conversation via skype about tea bag and tip-drill a song that she had heard so me with my naïve self asked her what is a tip-drill she replied “a video whore or a slide” wow where have I been. She emailed me a site so I could see the video http://video.aol.com/video-detail/nelly-tip-drill-uncut/2662584689 The lyrics of the song is offensive and explicit but the video was another story the vulgarity, exploitation and the objectification of women especially women of color who is portrayed as sex object with a price value dancing explicit with cash been thrown at them.

One line of the lyric that draws my attention is “I said it must be ya ass cause it aint yo face I need to tip-drill, I need a tip-drill”. He does not value the woman as a person he’s only interested in her ass as Nelly said it must be your ass cause it aint your face this dehumanize the females. The only way to remedy or attack an issue such as this is the education of people and the females/artist in the video, help them to develop the power to perceive the reality of the oppression of women of color. For Society, Nelly and the females of the video to be truly educated I believe as Freire said “In problem-posing education, people developed their power to perceive critically the way they exist in the world with which and in which they find themselves; they come to see the world not as a static reality but as a reality in process, in transformation”.

I said it must be ya ass cause it ain't ya face
I need a tipdrill, I need a tipdrill
I said it must be ya ass cause it ain't ya face
I need a tipdrill, I need a tipdrill
I said if ya see a tipdrill point her out, where she at
Point her out, where she at
Point her out, there she goooooes
I said if ya see a tipdrill point her out, where she at
Point her out, where she at
Point her out, there she goooooes

Recently I was hanging out with a one of my little cousins when a song came on the radio. I forget exactly what song it was, but it was weird because my little cousin knew more words to the song then I did. That wasn’t the weird part though. The weird part was that although my little cousin, who is 10, knew almost every word to the song, he had no idea what was actually being said. That’s a problem to me, and personally I feel like it’s been like this a real long time now. With so many ways for these little kids to get access to these songs, it’s too hard to keep them from hearing any of it. Young kids are becoming fans of popular musicians, but don’t have any real idea of what their music actually means.
One of the bigger musicians that many young kids can become fans of but not have a real idea about what the musician is singing is Eminem. Although I am a fan of Eminem’s, there are some of his songs that I believe are just out there and make him look crazy. One of these songs is the song named “Kim.” In this song, Kim is Eminem’s ex-girlfriend who ends up cheating on him and sleeps with another guy. Eminem ends up wanting to kill the guy that Kim cheats on him with, and also wants to kill Kim for cheating on him. In the song Eminem is screaming at Kim and hitting her and the song comes to an end with Kim choking and Eminem yelling at her to “NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!”
This song is both degrading to women, as well as something that a young kid might not understand. When this song first came out, I believe I was about ten years old. That’s a problem because young kids my age were listening to this song all the time, not because what they knew what it meant, but because it was by Eminem. This can be a real big problem for our society, as well as women in particular. If kids are growing up listening to music about guys beating up their girlfriends, what’s to say they might not think it’s the right thing to do? A lot of times you have young people looking up to these artists. This can have bad side effects for our entire society. Songs like this song by Eminem, in my opinion, can really be hurtful to women in the long run.

It's 2 am on a Thursday night and the streets of this particular Queens neighborhood are eerily quiet. The area sure has changed a lot in the past few years and In a strange way the crackheads made it a bit less lonely at night. At the very least, there were people out and you knew exactly who they were and what they were up to....

I had just left my boyfriend's house and was walking home as I talked to him on my cell, when I felt someone's presence behind me. As he got closer I could hear the footsteps getting louder. A bit of nervousness crept into my body, but the soothing voice on the line kept my unease at bay for the moment. When I glanced back I couldn't make out the face underneath the dark hoodie and fitted hat, which made me walk a little faster toward the walkway leading to my door. I was almost at my door when I realized that he was still behind me. Where the fuck is he going? Is he after me? Fumblling for my keys, heart racing, I finally get the door open and rush in, but when I tried to close the door I felt him trying to push it open on the other side. Every part of me wanted to let out a scream, but nothing came out. He wouldn't let me shut the door and something told me to just open it: He stumbled into the hallway, our eyes met, we recognized each other, and he said, "I'm sorry. Wrong door."
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I was totally shocked when a friend of mine told me about how this happened to her one night during the "rape hour." I asked her if she called the police and she said "no because nothing actually happened."

Did something happen?

Will the next door be the "right door?"

Lately on my twitter account a lot of females having been calling themselves “Harajuku Barbie’s” because of Nicki Minaj. Nicki is know for her Barbie like behavior from the way she talks to the way she dresses. But to many females are imitating her and I believe that when a person has the power to influence a lot of women like she does she should be encouraging them to be themselves and not something fake because to me a Barbie is nothing more that a little toy. A lot of young girls try to dress the way she dresses and she doesn’t dress the way any adult would want there daughter to dress unless she was well above her twenties and even so some parents might still object… Yet Nicki has girls as young as 12 trying to dress like her and wear tight leggings and make up and so on…. But I don’t think some of these females realize that the guys they are trying to impress by dressing like Nicki Minaj look at them like they are foolish…I read my time line all the time and see boys clowning the girls who try to be like her…A lot of guys including myself want to see a female be herself and try to imitate someone that is successful because they don’t understand that Nicki Minaj’s circumstances are different from their own…The entertainment industry does not let girls know these things because they make money off of them but I believe this is where we pass off information to each other and self educate ourselves..Im not saying Nicki is a bad person, im just saying the image she is passing off to these girls is not what should be passed down…she should be encouraging these females to stay in school and respectfully make it to the level she is in life even if it is not through music.

my concern is the problem of international arranged marriages. for an insight for people who dont know this problem let me describe it. mostly girls who are born in america and have american nationality are considered as a very precious prize by their relatives in other countries. so what happens is that as soon as they are 18, they are married off to their cousins from other parts of the world. this is done because by marrying this girl off to a person who doesnt live in america, the boy gets the opourtunity of being an american citizen. but the point of concern here is that this is very unfair to the girl. a girl who has been brought up in N.Y for instance has a very modern and open style of approach towards life. this girl is brought up with ideas like she has her own free will in her life and that she is a free being fully permitted by the law to make her own decisions which is actually true and fair. but when this boy from another part of the world, brought up in a totally different culture comes and tries to rule this girl's life, you dont hurt anyone but the girl whose whole life is spoiled. i am personally witnessing it, a girl who has been brought up to be an independant girl for 18 years is now being forced to marry someone from her family from almost another part of the world. obviously their mentally doesnt match and will create problems for both of them but especially i feel very bad for the girl. why is it that a girl has to give up on her dreams or sacrifise her life to benefit a man. why is it that parents can force their will on kids even today when they themselves teach their kids to live their life with freedom and honor. and thats how their self esteem and identity is being killed, so so so sad ! my solution is that girls should definitely have a say in the matter in everything but for something as special as marriage, it should be the girl's decision if she wants to go ahead and do it or not. imposing it on girls is very unfair and kills her personality.

Earlier this morning, our class discussed Betty Friedan’s Feminine Mystique and the responsibilities and effects that the media has on women. We looked at different magazines and the messages that they conveyed with the articles and images they chose to feature. As I quietly listened to the class discussion, I couldn’t help but wonder: am I oppressing women with my work? Last week, Metro ran a Valentine’s Day Guide and my editor asked me to write an article called, "Top 5 Romantic Places to Propose” When I started writing it, I didn't see it as oppressive to women. I saw it as a chance for me to gain more experience and increase my clips. Friedan mentioned the crisis that women face when it comes to identifying their role in society. It took me a while, but I have identified what I want to be and what I want to contribute to the world. I am convinced that by becoming a journalist, I get to give a voice to people who don't have any by telling their stories. Now the problem I face is this - I'm just starting out so I don't get to choose what I write. Whatever story the editors throw at me, I have to take because if I want to tell more pressing stories, then I'd have to pay my dues first even if it means writing a hundred stories about Valentine's Day. If you were in my place, how would you resolve this dilemma? How would you incorporate the lessons we learn while still getting your job done?

I decided to do my gender watch article on a song from Ludacris that I came across while searching for other songs by Ludacris. I choose Ludacris because he has been known to use derogatory lyrics towards women in a handful of his songs. Ludacris pretty much states that all women will do whatever for him no matter who they are or what they do. The song I picked was called "Fatty Girl". This song not only makes it seem like women are low and will do anything for him, but it is just very unattractive the way he goes about singing the song. The video really isn't great either. One line that I picked out was; “This is in thought of those broads who got the goods, for the chicks who don’t, ehh it’s still all good”. I feel that he is pretty much saying he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants. It doesn't matter what you look like, as long as you putout Ludacris will be happy. I feel that Ludacris doesn’t care whom the girl is he will find a way for them to like him and for him to do things for him. Then he mentions of girls being juicy, chunky, skanky, funky. This is how he wants his girls. I don’t know if I can speak for everyone but if a guy were to say that to me I wouldn’t be happy. I just feel like that is what he thinks of all girls. There is also a great deal of other lines in this particular song that shouldn’t make women feel good about what he is saying. All in all I feel that this song is a slap in the face to all women.

This afternoon, I left Baruch to get lunch with two of my friends—Andrea and Ann-Marie—at a nearby Japanese restaurant. Both Andrea and Ann-Marie are Indian-American. After we were seated and ordered our food, we talked about various topics such as school, new professors, recent events, and friends. While Andrea and I were eating some miso soup, Ann-Marie was talking about a trip to California she was planning and was mentioning one of her friends who was going with her.
“Yeah, her name is Ana. She’s a Russian immigrant who grew up in Brooklyn, so she talks mad black. She’s dating a Haitian guy here.”

Ann-Marie further explained how she got to know Ana’s boyfriend and his family after a few social occasions and when she eventually met his sister (I do not remember her name, but let’s call her ‘Kalila’ for simplicity’s sake). Now, before even talking about Kalila’s personality or demeanor, Ann-Marie immediately mentioned how she was “ugly as sin” because she was fully Haitian. Andrea quickly interjected to agree by saying,
“Yeah! Every Haitian girl I ever met was always a bit ‘rough around the edges’ and not too good-looking.”
I retorted without thinking, “Hey! My friend Kristina is Haitian and she’s fu*king gorgeous! You guys are being mad judgmental and sh*t—“
“Kristina’s mixed, isn’t she?” Andrea responded.
“Well, yeah... She’s like, half African-American and her other half is split between Haitian and French. What huge difference would that make?”
“Girls who are fully black are not pretty AT ALL in most cases.”
Ann-Marie was nodding at Andrea’s statements as if they were well-known facts that I wasn’t informed of until now. I was really bothered by how convinced they were about it as they went on to name famous black models and actresses who were all biracial or mixed in some way as if THAT’S why they were so pretty.

Don’t get me wrong, I know different people have different standards of beauty, but to just say that “100% black women are not pretty at all” seems completely ignorant to me, especially considering I know my friends are very educated and never exhibited any qualities of blatant racism until today’s lunch. A small part of me almost felt vindictive; my mind began to say things like, “Pshh, I know PLENTY of guys who find Indian girls to be hairy and unattractive, so I don’t know where you get the idea you guys are such hot commodities all of a sudden.” I would never say these things out loud, but it just showed how my mind could wander to be just as ignorant as their aforementioned statements.

Thinking back to today’s lunch, I realized a few things. Firstly, everyone has an opinion that I should be more open to, rather than just snapping back and feeling defensive about it. Secondly, and more of a “big picture” point, is how feminists often complain that men are bringing us down when, realistically, women are bringing each other down through these preconceptions about one another. When people ask, “What is female beauty?” we often turn to men for the answer considering they are the gender (in most cases) who are attracted to us. However, women all have their own ideas of beauty and can be quite blunt in explaining what ISN’T beautiful to them.

Not to digress too much from the topic at hand, but I feel as if men and women have completely different types of bonds within their own gender groups. For example, if two men are passing each other in the hallway, they will often acknowledge each other with a nod or a statement of some sort, just to show some camaraderie, regardless of whether they know each other or not. Women, on the other hand, are often not as polite in these types of situations. I am willing to admit that if I’m in an elevator with a couple of other females I do not know, I’m often unconsciously analyzing their looks, fashion, etc. and silently judging them without realizing I’m doing it. Maybe it’s just something I’ve personally done and observed, but this kind of thing happens a lot in many different situations.

After skimming through what seems like an endless sea of text, you’re probably wondering, “What on earth is your point?” After witnessing my friends’ conversation at lunch today, I wanted to dig deeper into how women could be such “haters” towards one another, so to speak. My Indian-American friend practically called all 100% black girls ugly; when’s the last time you heard an Indian-American man make a comment like that about black men (or any men, for that matter)? I often don’t agree with modern feminism because most arguments end with how “men” (blanket term) are usually to blame, when in reality, women are probably more vicious to one another than men could ever be.

Today as I went to check my mail on AOL is saw a headline that caught my attention, which said "Controversial Billboards Pop Up in Atlanta" I opened to see a billboard as you can see in the link that it was referring to a billboard that said "Black Children Are An Endangered Species". I immediately thought back of our discussion in class about African-American woman having a higher rate of abortions. Abortion is a topic I enjoy discussing and receiving different view points from women so I can have a better understanding of why a girls chooses whether or not to have an abortion. I meant to bring up this story during class before we ran out of time. I remember talking to a girl who said her friend had more than 5 abortions because her family who was very religious did not approve of her being impregnated by a gentleman of color. Her family was also the one who paid for the abortions each time. Even for a very expensive one because she already 6 months pregnant. I remember back in HS there were 5 girls that got pregnant in their Senior year and out those 5 only 1 had an abortion. Being that it was a Catholic school there was always that look of disapproval these girls received from the teachers and their peers. But my question is why didn't they all have abortions? How did they come to terms with themselves or their decision? Not only were they young minorities proving a statistic, but they just got a diploma how did they plan on providing for their child. Most of them as I recall were impregnated by guys who were, as I would call them, losers. They weren't gonna take after their responsibility so why have his baby? The baby of a man who really didn't "love" you and is now no-where to be seen or heard from. He put your life/career on hold for countless years as you raise this kid making life a little bit harder.

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/02/09/atlanta-billboards-proclaim-black-children-are-an-endangered-sp/?icid=main|main|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.com%2F2010%2F02%2F09%2Fatlanta-billboards-proclaim-black-children-are-an-endangered-sp%2F

http://www.toomanyaborted.com/

Today was a very stressful since I was sick. I had to come to school to handle certain things for an event that started around 6 30pm and I had a meeting with my club adviser to talk about certain things. Tonight we had an event with Hip-Hop 201 and NABA called "Cater 2 U" an all male panel talking about women (more so black women in general). The panelists were very interesting men. But what stood out to me, was a comment said by one panelist about "strong black woman" and education. A lot of people were offended with his comment saying that she has to be educated and blah blah in order to be a strong woman ..... (He went on...) brought up the stereotypical "Monique"'s that is in your face yelling, screaming, and the hand movement. The only thing I didn't agree with was the woman who had to be an educated person to be a strong black woman, well my mum didn't have any formal education, only something up to "8th grade" but that doesn't make her strong. She came to a foreign country (USA) at the age of 19 to be with her new husband (which is my dad) to live the "American Dream", didn't know a lick of English just Pula (our native dialect), French and other African dialects. She had three children (I'm the oldest plus my two brothers), she represents calmness, woman who respects her husband and love her family dearly. Even with formal education, a few do not apply it or show that they have some type of character. There was many good things said at the event, we were all thinking and listening to one another.

Last night, my dad and I came in the house the same time, we were talking about certain people in our family back home (Guinea-Conakry: Fouta Djallon). We always talk about how family members always call for money, there was one particular cousin of mine who got her 14 year daughter married to an older man (who already has a wife already). My dad who is her uncle doesn't talk to her for that particular reason because she didn't talk to the elders of the family to ask if this was an okay decision. I was furious because I thought of my 14 yr old cousin denied of education because I know the man won't put her through school. The mother's reason why for marrying her daughter was because her friends around were married and started to have babies already. So she thought it was a right thing to do. My dad doesn't support nor talks to his niece after this whole thing happened, he calmly said "Well she wants to be poor, Let her!"

On a personal level, I don’t like the girls who are considered “birds/birdish”. No I’m sorry; please allow me to rephrase that. I don’t like girls who are overly loud and, to me, act like a nig*a. It is sad to know that there are girls like that who act like this all the time. Quite frankly, I find this to be a huge turn-off. But, I should end my rant and start the journal entry. While riding the train home from school, these young African American girls, I’d say around the ages of 15-17, entered the train. Usually I am engrossed in the music I’m listening to and pay no one any mind once I am on the train, but this time was different. Once the train starts to move for the next destination, the girls begin to talk continue the conversation they were having before entering the train amongst one another. Now, first of all, I don’t see the point each girl yelling ridiculously loud when the person you are speaking to is right in front of your nose. I mean, they are so loud that at one point, I could hear them even with the music in my ears, and believe me, the music I am listening to isn’t soft music! Secondly, these girls are using exceedingly foul language to describe to their fellow girlfriends about another girl that they apparently don’t like, as well as themselves and their other girlfriends (the words they used was bit*h, slut, trick, etc.). This made me think for a while about the following: why do girls, especially the young female age group, refer to themselves as bit*hes, hoes, heifers and the like? Then they go ballistic when a male, whether African American or not, calls them that same exact term. It has always intrigued me and I would constantly ask girls that question, but would never get a straight answer. This question is ironically parallel to the following question: why do African Americans refer to themselves as “nigg*s” and it is cool among them, while when a man of an alternate race says the same term, the same “nigg*s” are ready to end the man’s life?? It just doesn’t make sense to me. The quick way to solve this is not to refer to another with such derogatory terms, but easier said than done. But anyway, these girls, I felt were a misrepresentation of women, solely because others, like myself, heard these girls talking about themselves and classing themselves, as well as other females, as the derogatory words I mentioned before. It is like they are generalizing the entire African American women as the derogatory terms. I could imagine someone, who also experienced the situation as I did, assuming that its cool or ok to call them these terms and would assuming that they, and the rest of African American women in the world, would be cool in being labeled as this word, which shouldn’t be as we all well know!

I usually like Usher, so when my Usher obsessed friend decided to play his entire anthology in the club room this morning I let her, didn’t pay any attention to it. After a while this song came on, and because I'm always three months late for everything, I had never heard it before when I looked at her iPod and saw “Hey Daddy” and when I realized this was not a song written for his two children, I had to immediately shake my head. Personally, I’ve never been a fan of the whole calling a man who is in no way shape or form your father “Daddy” thing because it sounds weird to me on so many levels. However, by all means, if you feel so inclined to put aside how creepy and riddled with daddy issues it is, and not to mention the whole underlying pimp issue be my guest, who am I to tell you what sort of endearing name to call your boyfriend.
Then from personal experience the only girls I ever hear call their boyfriend “daddy” are the one’s who don’t have one. They have either never met their father or do not really know them all to well, and have unconsciously been looking for a man to take care of them and fill that father figure and when they find that man commence to calling them Daddy.
Besides the entire Daddy calling issue, the lyrics of the entire song just bothered me. The chorus goes:
“And I won't knock or ring no bells
You just float that bottom up in the air
I'll get you hot, I know you oh so well
And when I'm walking all that I wanna hear

[Chorus]
Is you say Daddy's home, home for me
And I know you've been waiting for this lovin' all day
You know your daddy's home (daddy's home),
and it's time to play (so it's time to play)
So you ain't got to give my loving away
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy”
The part that bothered me the most was the “you just float your bottom up in the air” stuff. Usher’s writing this song about a girlfriend someone he cares about, fictional or non fictional, he’s in a relationship with this person and with that comes respect, and this song is completely lacking that. It’s like here comes Usher home from a long day of doing whatever he does and because he “worked hard” all day pays your bills and takes care of you (hence the whole daddy nonsense) he expects his woman to stop what ever she’s doing, bend over and have sex with him because he deserves it. The act of bending over to someone implies subservience, that this person has total control over you and is your master. And because he’s your Daddy and pays your bills you’re supposed to go along with it and be thankful. Please